My son loves video gaming. I struggled with this for a long time but I kept coming back to him and his joy. Here is a blog I wrote about my journey: Shining with Video Games
Pam Laricchia’s website has many links on this topic: http://livingjoyfully.ca/?s=video+games
Sandra Dodd’s page on Video Games is a brilliant collection of real accounts of families who learn with video games as part of their lives.