Funny how everything seems to fall into place once the LOA (Law of Attraction) ball got rolling for me/us as a family. My stress levels have fallen away. I wonder if that means i’m ignoring problems… but nah… mostly i look at problems in a new light. And i find i’m more open to playfullness, going with the flow even if it means smiling at overflowing water as kids play etc.

Today was a day of stops. I tended to loose my temper and get short with the kids. I could not find my groove or my center as i was caught up in a couple of extra house-chores, some house-maintenance, lack of water in the building (being worked out by the building crew), and perhaps a growing unease about some stuff that i need to work on while the kids are not around.

Now this last one was the main botheration because i know Ravi’s week is rough and i may not get that time i need. Anyway my solution was to read Calvin and Hobbes to the kids as they settled in for a afternoon nap… Z definitely sleepy and Raghu lying down only for a read. Then i explained to Raghu that if he wanted the playdate (2 kids from our building are coming over for a playdate this evening) then he needed to nap as he had been up in the morning at 7am. I pointed out how hard it was for him to stay cheerful and not get grumpy when he was functioning on less sleep. So he agreed to nap provided i finished a few more pages of hte C&H. So we laughed and interpreted a few more C&H escapades and R feel asleep. So here I am having a blissful hour to tap away and get my center back.

And as i focus on myself… i can isolate the problem areas and sit with them and give them directions. ok “food issues for hte evening… here you go… this is what shall happen… chunky soup for Z, bhendi for R and methi-daal-rice- for dh and me.” then “mess issues… make a list and put it up for us to consider some boxing up this w’end” and “art-class reassessment… shall tell ravi to take care of kids in the morning tomororw while i plug away from 6am till 8am on the course work i need to create” Lovely! Now i feel like loose ends have been tied that as an art teacher adn home manager have to be addressed and i cna go back to being loose and carefree and follow my kids around the rest of the evening.

Then i read this in my inbox from Scott Noelle.. and it zinged for me 🙂

:: Red Light, Green Light ::

Virtually all of us “lose it” with our kids at some
point. Then later we say, “I didn’t want to yell at my
child, but I couldn’t stop myself.”

If you want to avoid these parent-child “collisions,”
you have to pay more attention to your “inner
stoplight”: stress.

Suppose you’re worried about getting your child to an
appointment on time. Worrying is stressful, so it’s a
red light telling you to stop and get centered before
moving on. But long ago you were trained to tolerate
stress, so you don’t notice the red light. You’re on a
collision course!

Which parent is more likely to end up yelling, the one
who’s centered or the one who’s stressed?

Today, pay close attention to your subtle feelings.
Decide that even “mild” tension or irritation is a red
light. Stop, breathe, reach for better-feeling
thoughts, and wait for the green-light feeling of
*relief* before you take action.

Abundance and what it means to me

“Just want to say that there are parts of this post that are Bashar’s words (see the prev post for his utube link). And i’ve used them in conjunction with my thoughts.”

Definition of abundance: The ability to do what you need to do when you
need to do it. Period. That’s it; that’s abundance.

Amazingly… this simple definition encompasses many many areas for me. Money, love-connections, things i want, toys, trips, etc.. Anything i want seems to be connected to money, career changes etc.. and this does not have to be based on this definition. I feel its true within me… not quite sure if i’ve caught up with this idea in action… Still it rings true. What I need i shall get when I need it.

Bashar: But if you simply trust that you are abundant, and follow at any given
moment what excites you the most, then that is the most important key:
what excites you the most. Then life will support you 100% as life has
always supported you. And it will allow you to attract into your
reality whatever situations will allow you to do what you need to do
when you need to do it. If money does not come with it, then take that
as a sign that money is not necessary for that particular interaction.
If it were, it would have been there first.

Therefore, following at any given moment the situation that brings with
it the highest degree of excitement is taking the path of least
resistance — is living an effortless life. And it will bring into your
life all the individuals and all the situations necessary to allow you
to continue to be that effortless being. That’s the way life works, and
it does work that way when you let it. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!

Back to me: So here everything i’ve been trained/educated for comes crumbling down. Should we not be saving money? Putting away for a rainy day? No is the simple answer within. I don’t think ravi is going to fold up those college/retirement accounts just yet 😉

I feel abundant and expansive. I want raghu to feel this expansiveness (i want to model it for him). I want to make these shifts within that allow me to truly believe in this implicitly. I already feel comfortable saying that the issues i see in the world or in people around me are actually reflections of my own issues. the issues are in me. I can’t overemphasize that enough. the moment i look within and work on my letting go, staying with, observing etc of my own inner fear/trust/belief etc the outside issues disappear. it sounds subjective and very personal. it is. But this works for me.

Something in Raghu’s insistent ben10 demands reflect something of my cringing, yikes-another-toy, mindset. And i need to let him live. And i trust that the money for his needs shall appear as he needs them. I cannot live his life. His needs will be fullfilled of their own accord. I’m not the sole provider. the universe takes care of us all.

raghu recently asked me what happened to the body after death, cremation, burial etc. then when i proceeded to give an expmple of everything being energy adn energy expressing itself in different forms… physical and non etc… he suddenly stopped me adn said “but don’t talk about your body and death/cremation” I realised that for him death of either parent or some one close was not something he was choosing to reflect on right now. he set boundaries for me and himself. Amazing how the child knew how far, how deep he woudl travel on this day. another day another dimension.

To connect back to my abundance thread… I had a fear until reecently about his off and on conversations/questions about death, his Tathayya’s (dh’s dad) death, burial, cremation etc. i was not sure if i’d be able to answer. but in my new abundant, all shall be well mode… i let is go and felt sure that the answers would come when the time came. Sure enough that conversation was a lovely one. Both raghu and I were at peace and able to make sense of things in our own way.

Working from a place of fear…. saving for a rainy day type mode is something that does not beget the best results for me. It saps me of energy. energy that otherwise can be put towards what i do want. What I want in that moment. No need to think of years down the line.

Abundance of love, joy, paint, beautiful vistas, experiences, fun, laughter, positive vibes, connectedness with the earth i live on…. this is what i wish for myself. And as they said in all my old amar chitra katha books… “tathaastu” “So be it”

LOA and me

I set out with the intention to make my body more supple, feel good about how i look and also to become a bit more zippy in my actions…. like run quickly to save zoya from monster Raghu’s attentions 😉

Reading LOA…. is like harnessing something that I’ve always known and used erratically. So i set forth the above intentions and lo and behold i got a fab gym, fab instructor and lovely support from dh… and I’m on my way already in terms of having my energy/suppleness back.

In terms of being with R and Z… the overwhelming energy, love and zest I feel some of the time is now an almost on-going thing. With segment intention-ing in place… i can achieve anything. Even if the over all vision/desires is not clear… at least i can desire for a happy afternoon and it happens. I desire making R and Z’s desires come true… and it happens. Raghu wanted a gingerbread house… and I’m not exactly a baker. Yet once i decided to make his wish happen… things/events transpired to make it happen.

I’m still early in my understanding of this basic principle… but already i feel like anything can happen and will if i want it. I want happy children and a happy time with them. Amazingly… it happens.

Feeling good to harness this power.